What Causes Arthritis?
A man, who smelled like a distillery, flopped down
on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty
bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes the disheveled man turned to the priest and said, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"
"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your
"Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to
come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis, Father. I was just reading that the Pope has arthritis."
An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering
things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.
When they arrived at the doctors, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory.
After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing
things down and make notes to help them remember things.
The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the man got up from his chair and his wife
asked, "Where are you going?" He replied, "To the kitchen." She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
He replied, "Sure." She then asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" He said,
"No, I can remember that."She then said, "Well, I would also like some strawberries on top. You had better write that
down because I know you'll forget that." He said, I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.
" She replied, "Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down."
With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that
down! I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen
and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said angrily: "I TOLD
you to write it down! You forgot my toast!"
My boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"
Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this
a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.
As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really
outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, and etc. The next morning, they went
to the beach, dressed in their "tourist" garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying
a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a "drop dead gorgeous" blonde in a tiny
bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn't help but stare and when she
passed them, smiled and said, "Good morning Father," "Good morning Father,"
nodding and addressing each of them individually, then passed on by.
They were both stunned. How in the world did she recognize them as priests? The
next day they went back to the store, bought even more outrageous outfits -- these
were so loud, you could hear them before you even saw them -- and again settled on
the beach in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine, etc.
One of the priests couldn't stand it and said, "Just a minute young lady. Yes, we are
priests, and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did YOU know?""Oh
Father, don't you recognize me? I'm Sister Angela!"
GURU DUTT STARRING IN "SOFTWARE KE PHOOL"
yeh document, yeh meetings, yeh features ki duniya,
yeh insaan ke dushman, cursors ki duniya
yeh deadlines ke bhooke, management ki duniya;
yeh Product agar ban bhi jaaye to kya hai?
yahaan ek khilona hai programmer ki hasti
ye basti hai murda bug-fixers ki basti
yahaan par to raises hai, inflation se sasti
yeh Review agar ho bhi jaaye to kya hai?
har ek keyboard ghayal, har ek login pyaasi
excel mein uljhan, winword mein udaasi
yeh office hai ya salame microsoft ki
yeh Release agar ho bhi jaaye to kya hai?
jalaa do ise, phoonk daalo yeh monitor
mere saamne se hataa daalo yeh modem
tumhaara hai tumhi sambhaalo yeh computer
yeh Product agar chal bhi jaaye to kya hai?
What Causes Arthritis?: Sent by Magan Patel
Incognito Sent by: Mohan Bhoumik
"SOFTWARE KE PHOOL" Sent by: Rajiv Donde
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