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    Disclaimer: These jokes may be floating on the internet and are sent to mr by emails

    Please email me any

    Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, and etc. The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their "tourist" garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a "drop dead gorgeous" blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn't help but stare and when she passed them, smiled and said, "Good morning Father," "Good morning Father," nodding and addressing each of them individually, then passed on by. They were both stunned. How in the world did she recognize them as priests? The next day they went back to the store, bought even more outrageous outfits -- these were so loud, you could hear them before you even saw them -- and again settled on the beach in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine, etc. One of the priests couldn't stand it and said, "Just a minute young lady. Yes, we are priests, and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did YOU know?""Oh Father, don't you recognize me? I'm Sister Angela!"

    Can of peas
    An elderly couple had been shopping at a grocery store, and the wife decided to steal a can of peaches. The inevitable happened and she was caught. Upon her court date, the judge asked her what she had stolen. "Your Honor, I stole a can of peaches." The judge replied, "How many peaches were in the can?" She said, "Six." The judge then said, "I will sentence you to six days in jail." Her husband stood up behind her and replied, "Your Honor, she also stole a can of peas."
    Ujagar Singh's friend invited him for a dinner on one Friday evening at eight o'clock. Since Ujagir Singh had just come from Panjab, his friend gave him all the directions to his house and told him to the follow he signs on the highway and he would reach there in less than an hour. So Ujagir Singh started at seven o'clock in the evening that Friday. But he reached at his friend's house well past midnight. His friend asked him frantically, "Why did it take so long for you, my directions were very simple and clear and all you have to do is to follow the signs." Ujagir Singh replied, "Yes, I drove exactly according to your directions and followed the signs."." After a pause Ujagir singh continued, "There was one sign that say CLEAN REST ROOMS NEXT EXIT Do you know how much time I had to spend to clean the rest rooms?"